“Welcome everyone to tonight’s haunted cemetery tour!” the man in the long black raincoat said with a flourish. “I am Salochin. I will be your host tonight. Questions are, of course, allowed. However, Grand Ghost Touring LLC asks that you save all your queries until the designated times.”
“When’s that?” asked a chubby man with a fanny-pack.
“After my monologues, or whilst we traverse from tomb to tomb.”
“Okay!” Fanny-Pack responded.
“Thank you. This gravesite is the home of at least seventeen known paranormal entities,” Salochin announced to the crowd of ten.
“That seems low,” Fanny-Pack said.
“Please hold questions until the end.”
“That wasn’t a question,” explained Fanny-Pack.
“Please hold comments until the end as well,” Salochin clarified.
“Did those seventeen people die at the cemetery?”
“Now that one is a question!”
“Because, like over 100,000 people are buried here. Seventeen divided by 100,000 is like 0.017 percent.”
Salochin held his hand up in an attempt to stop Fanny-Pack.
It did not work.
“0.017 percent is such low odds. It’s like if God were to pick an Earthling at random and got a Latvian. I thought there would be more ghosts than Latvians.”
“Sir, I ask-”
“But I am afraid of both…”
“Sir,” Salochin put his hand on Fanny-Pack’s shoulder. “Let me do my job and you can ask one question, each time we start walking, okay?”
Fanny-Pack nodded and waited patiently.
As soon as they took their first steps: “So is your name just an anagram of Nicholas?”