Person1: -tough out there, man. I’m worried about getting attacked by the “me also” movement.
Person2: Me too.
P1: See! S’all of us.
P2: No, it’s-
P1: Tell you, s’why I haven’t put myself out there for going on twenty years now.
P2: But it’s only been-
P1: The internet porn’s great, don’t get me wrong, but even then ya gotta watch out.
P2: So, what we’re-
P1: I can’t tell when a woman is seventeen or something illegal-like.
P2: What we’re-
P1: Even the older ones, I mean, they might be drugged up sex slaves or be otherwise exploited. There’s a seedy underbelly to these institutions!
P2: Whatl-
P1: Or what if I fall asleep and it starts auto-playing some weird shit and I get all incepted like. Then I need a bunch of tentacles to get-
P2: What we’re-
P1: So then, I was going for them dirty cartoons: that’s a whole setta problems there.
P2: We’re-
P1: I’m never sure which direction I’m sposda be reading these comics on account of them Japanese read their comics t’other way.
P2: I-
P1: Or half the time, the women grow tails or cat’s ears. Who’s that for?
P2: Sir-
P1: So what I been doing is I take my own picture and run it through the gender change filter of that app. Guilt free jerking.
P2: That’s-
P1: I know, weird? I mean, who masturbates to faces? Well, I guess I’m a gentleman.
-CLICK-
**Call recorded for quality-control purposes.**