Martin nodded at Robert, who was attempting to pin his ID Badge to his shirt. “First days, huh?”
“My old lab had lanyards.”
“No lanyards here at E.V.I.L. Too many of us were choked with them in the aughts. And see?” Martin grabbed his own tie and snapped it off with one swift tug. “Clip-ons only.”
Robert went to loosen his tie.
“Naw, keep it on.” Martin advised. “Just wear a clip-on tomorrow. Here, I’ll show you around.”
Robert followed Martin and stared in awe at the various projects around the lab. “What’s in there?” he asked pointing to a busy room behind a wall of plexiglass.
“We’ve been working on knockout gas for some time now.”
“Really?”
“As it turns out, it’s pretty tricky. The current batch kills anybody under about 250 pounds. We should get you fitted with company shoes after the tour. Unobtanium toed. First pair is free.”
“Cool. What’s over there?” Robert asked, gesturing to a giant metal apparatus filling a corner of the room.
“Oh, that’s our god machine. We kept on inputting requests, but it never actually did anything.”
“Just like the real one.”
Martin chuckled. “You’re gonna fit in around here. Anyways, we leave it in the corner to remind us of our failures. Are your slacks black?”
“They’re navy.”
“Oof. The boss’s a stickler for that. They need to be black.”
“No problem.”
“Now, over there is where you’ll be working.” Martin pointed at a sign that read, Vampiric Phlebotomy.
“Cool beans.”