“Space is so dumb and boring,” Edgar complained as he stared out the window into the vast emptiness of the cosmos.
“What were you expecting?” asked Able-Bodied spaceman Suleiman.
“Adventures? Aliens? Wormholes? Lasers? Swords? Laser swords?”
Suleiman cocked his head. “Didn’t you fall through a wormhole in the past in order to get here? How many wormholes does one hope to encounter in their life?”
“I don’t know, man. But I’ve been wandering around this ship for a week, and we haven’t seen anything. Y’all tell me we’re going mega-fast, but it just looks like nothing outside. We’re not being hailed or nothing. And look man,” Edgar stopped talking and flapped his arms and fluttered his legs while hovering, causing his body to spin. “Zero gravity is cool for exactly 45 minutes. I just want to be able to stay in one place without a strap.”
“You can still go into stasis for the final three months of our journey,” Suleiman offered.
“So, your offer of fun is a medically induced coma?”
“You said aliens. We do have several alien species on board.”
“I haven’t seen any.”
“We are transporting a number of alien bacteria to the colony for study.”
“Boring.”
“You said lasers. We sometimes have to use lasers to clear debris from our route. Maybe we could work that out for you?”
“Firing the laser?”
“Watching the laser,” Suleiman clarified.
“Oh. What color is the beam?”
“You can’t see the beam. It’s a laser.”
“I hate it here.”