Kim screamed from her bedroom, “Holy shit, Carly! Get in here!”
“I’m in the bathroom!”
“Well, finish up then!”
Ten minutes later, Carly arrived in Kim’s room. “Just what is so important that you’re yelling across the house?”
“Okay, so you know how museum are doing, like, HD scans of their art works and shit?”
“Sure,” Carly said, as it was the quickest way to progress the conversation.
“Well, I was looking at this old painting of, like some Roman gods or some shit, and I found a bunch of runes hidden in the bushes.”
“Huh?”
“Look!” Kim opened the drop-down menu and clicked 800%. She used the cursor to circle markings in the bushes. “See! I found a bunch, and I wrote them all down here!” Kim brandished a piece of loose-leaf paper towards Carly.
“That’s Archaic Latin. Those backwards seven looking things are actually ‘P’s.”
“Fucking hell! Demon language!
“Sure.”
“Well, what does it say? Wait, maybe you shouldn’t read it out loud. Do you think we’ll get magic powers?”
“Hold on,” Carly said. She opened a page on her phone in order to decipher the archaic letters to their modern counterparts. “Okay,” she said, “It looks like the message is talking about Mercury. He’s the god of messages, divination, financial gain, and he guides souls to the underworld.”
“Okay, I could be down with some of that.”
“This phrase here looks to be pedes pulchra.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, altogether it means ‘Mercury has beautiful feet.’”