(Story title suggested by Mike Noyes.)
Todd shifted in the pew, pulling his pant legs down in a vain effort to hide his mismatched socks.
Bella tugged at him, saying “pay attention.”
Todd’s eyes turned to the priest, who didn’t seem to be doing anything. Todd turned his attention to the woman who stood behind the lectern. Her voice sounded like a QVC caller as she read, “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?”
Todd’s mind started to wander, but he wasn’t sure that Bella wasn’t going to quiz him on all this stuff later. He pressed on.
“The beast of the field shall honor me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert-”
“Wait, what?” Todd said aloud involuntarily.
Bella stared daggers at him; Todd meekly and silently apologized.
After some time, a new, even less dynamic speaker walked up to read. Todd focused in time to hear, “And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles-”
Todd leaned over to Bella. “I have,” he paused, “so many questions.”
“Shhh” came her reply.
“Is he reading from Game of Thrones?”
“Shh.”
Later, during the car ride home:
“So, I wasn’t expected Jesus to send devils into two-thousand pigs like that. That was cool.”